Skeptomania - Paranormal / UFOs, etc.

Yaish · Intel Chief

I'm another person who sees psych patients on a regular basis. When I was still based in the hospital I'd see at least one per day, usually more. I've seen guys sitting quietly minding their own business suddenly grab a fork and stab their own leg.
I've seen guys ask to go to the bathroom then knock down a nurse and run head first into an automatic sliding door, knocking it off the track and taking off down the street.

I've also had to restrain violent psych patients many, many times, and they act with a strength all out of proportion to their size. I've had guys do sits up with me and a big male nurse leaning down on his chest. One of the worst people I ever had to restrain was an 80 year old chinese guy who probably weighed 130 lbs. Crazy strength is no joke, they aren't worried about pulling a muscle or throwing their back out, plus the adrenal glands start working full time, endorphins are released, serotonin levels rise... It's just a chemical stew of bad juju.

Honestly, I can understand why you're reluctant to kick him out. Your wife either does not, or at least refuses to see the danger and so you'll look like the bad guy for kicking him out. Like I said, let him stay in the house with the crazy aunt or his crazy sister if you want, but take the wife and kids to a Bed and Breakfast this Easter weekend or something. Come up with whatever excuse you have to, but get out of the house and away from him. Take a spontaneous and romantic trip to the UP or something, just get the fuck out of the house.

Yeah, I know, probably nothing is going to happen. Of course I could probably leave my front door open tonight and nothing would happen but I'm not going to try it.

TheMadHobbit · Subway Tolkien

WTB, first and foremost, sorry to read about your troubles.

READ everything that has been written in response and DO IT.

What struck me is your newborn. Nothing is more important than that child's safety. Everything and everyone else is secondary. The poor babe has no voice or choice in this matter, therefore YOU and your wife must actr for her.

Anyone who faults you for chooisng the security of your own child is an asshole and not desrving of your time.

Better to deal with the consequences of hurt feelings and pissed off in-laws than dealing with the pain of an avoidable tragedy (potential or otherwise).

WTB1

I appreciate all the advice.

I weighed it significantly. What I decided, right or wrong, was to let him stay. I did this for a few reasons. Remember, I said there were things I was leaving out because of time constraints and the threat of writing a short novel if I went on too much.

Some of those things are that my wife’s' brother is also her twin, making the bond between them that much more significant - if only in their eyes. I wouldn't be kicking out just a brother, but a twin.

Another thing that played into the decision was that the doc he saw, who my wife saw too with him after an hour or so to get her take on it, who didn't raise alarms about violence.
Another thing is that I stood and stand by my original decision, however wavering that things would turn out okay.

He left today. But last night was rough. Some of his family pestered him too much about what he would do in Cali and what about this or that when he filed for divorce ect.......

We were sitting at the table. I was working on his new laptop so it would be ready to take with him. He was sitting next to me with his mom and dad standing by the table. I started to notice their questions to him were coming in rapid fire....and that his responses were becoming more agitated. After a few minutes I'm sure I was getting red in the face and was going to say something to defuse the situation when the bro-in law exploded. He slammed his fist on the table and yelled "Why can't you understand that I don't need to hear this fucking shit right now?"

He stormed out of the house crying and the parents went after him, me trailing behind. We were all in socks standing on my cold side-walk. He calmed just a little when I walked up but I put my hand on his back anyway and did the guy thing - rub and comfort. I said a lot of things in between what his family said. I even cut them off a few times when I thought they were straying from the goal - to calm him. I convinced them to come back inside so we didn't all get sick.

We walked back in and I sat with him for quite some time on the front room couch, away from the hub of activity in the other room.

My wife told me today that he asked her who did she think helped calm him the most last night and she guessed her dad. He told her it was me. I do know that the things I said were sincere, but so much was said I'm not sure what helped him in the long run, factoring in the late hour.

I left the front room and went to the living room. My wife and her mom were sitting there and I took my place at the kitchen table again working on his laptop. Unbelievably, his mother started talking again about her concerns with him financially and other pestering topics that had no place being discussed at that time. My concern was that even though he was still in the other room (not far away and talking to his dad now) he might over-hear her and blow up again. Her mom had her back to me from where they were and my wife and I could see each other.

I tried to be polite and give my wife a hint.

"You do NOT need to be talking about this stuff right now."

I of course meant that she should take a hint and tell her mom to drop it, but she didn't get it. It was late for us all I guess.

"I'm NOT talking about it!" she said.

"Well let me put it this way, tell your mother to drop this topic. Understand now?"

That stopped it of course. I said it rudely though and I apologized to her today, about an hour ago.

I appreciate all the responses guys and gals. Know what I'm looking forward to? With no sis in-law or brother in-law in the house for the first time in many moons, I want to sit down with my wife and talk about the stupidest shit ever, who's going to get kicked off American Idol? Who's going to die on Lost?

Ah...the good 'ol boring days. Never discount them out of hand.

Raven · Google Meister

glad to hear things are returning back to "normal" for you...

Yaish · Intel Chief

Normal is good. Now stop juggling hand grenades and don't let him back in, but ya done good.

Gren · God Of Oreos

"I put my hand on his back anyway and did the guy thing - rub and comfort."

Glad he's gone and everything's all right, but when things are totally back to normal we're going to reconvene Men's Group so we can re-educate you on your misunderstanding of 'guy thing'.