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 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:09 am |
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| Gren |
| God Of Oreos |
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2005 |
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| Location: http://www.skeptomaniac.com |
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Washington state detectives say man asked friend to shoot him in the arm so he could skip work
The Associated Press
PASCO, Wash. - What happened to faking a cough?
Sheriff's detectives in Franklin County, Washington, say a man had his friend shoot him in the shoulder so he wouldn't have to go to work.
When he first spoke with deputies, Daniel Kuch (kooch) told them he'd been the victim of a drive-by shooting while he was jogging Thursday. But detectives say Kuch later acknowledged that he asked a friend to shoot him so he could get some time off work and avoid a drug test.
The friend has been arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. Kuch is expected to be charged with false reporting.
Detectives aren't saying where Kuch works or whether he still has a job. |
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No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them. |
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| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:30 am |
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| Raven |
| Google Meister |
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| Joined: 24 Oct 2005 |
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| Location: Detroit, MI, USA, North America, Earth, Sol, Orian's Arm, Milkyway, Uni Alpha-Prime |
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"so he could get some time off work and avoid a drug test."
it all comes to light... |
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"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." |
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| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:02 pm |
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| wrphhi |
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| Joined: 27 Nov 2005 |
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| Location: Rural, South Carolina |
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When I was in the Navy, I prosecuted two guys for malingering. Their wives were whining to them not to go on cruise (six month deployment) and they agreed that they would shoot each other in the leg, or shoot themselves in the leg (I forget which).
Well, after the first guy shot himself in the thigh, the second guy chickened out when he saw how much pain his buddy was in. They threw the gun in the river and said they were robbed by a couple of black guys who shot the one. Cops everywhere, dragnet in the park for all black guys; a real race relations boom! LOL.
Their stories started to come apart and the guy who chickened out finally made a deal to accept his BCD and get out with no time served. I hated to give him the deal, but his buddy wasn't talking and was going to get a medical disability retirement for the injury to his leg. They never got the bullet out and he was going to be limping the rest of his life. I figured letting him out of the jail time was worth not having the tax payers pay the malingerer a monthly retirement for the rest of his life. He got a BCD as well. Without the confession, couldn't have proved a damn thing.
I remember one other similar case in which a Chief Petty Officer (E-7) if you can believe it, had someone break his shin with a cinder block to get out of a cruise. Unbelievable. Hurts just thinking about it. |
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| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:52 pm |
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| Yaish |
| Intel Chief |
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There's some youtube vid of a guy getting his buddies to smash his shin with a dumbell to get out of deployment.
Well, I always say "stupid should hurt". At least it does. |
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... the kilt had concealed a blaster strapped to one thigh and a knife to the other. He was aware of the present gentle customs against personal weapons, but he felt naked without them. Such customs were nonsense anyhow, foolishment from old women - there was no such thing as "dangerous weapons," only dangerous people.
--Robert Heinlein in Methuselah's Children |
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| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:31 pm |
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| wrphhi |
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| Joined: 27 Nov 2005 |
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| Location: Rural, South Carolina |
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| Yaish wrote: | | Well, I always say "stupid should hurt". At least it does. |
Yeah, at least sometimes.
I've always thought there should be a "felony stupid." Some people are so stupid, they really should be sent to jail.
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Reminds me of a funny incident I saw either last year or the year before at Christmas in Walmart. You have to get the picture (I really wanted to sneak a camera-phone shot, but wasn't going to risk it).
Mama was about 250 lbs riding one of those scooters around the store wearing a red Santa-elf-hat with white puff ball on the end. She looked like she was probably receiving social security disability payments each month and if it wasn't for direct deposit, might have had a hard time figurin out how to cash it in.
Behind her in trail was daddy. He was of similar weight, wearing an open huntin shirt over a dirty white tee shirt, just shuffling along with one of those looks ... you know the look ... when someone just ain't right. I've been know to sometimes describe them as "mouth breathers."
Bringing up the rear was junior, who was probably about 16. Average looking skinny pimply-faced kid pushing the cart which was heaped full of groceries. I happened to see them in the cake isle and mama was looking at all the different cake mixes. So much to choose from!
I was trying not to look, just sneak periodic glances when I noticed the kid's shirt.
It said "YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!" 
It still cracks me up. It was all I could do to get out of the isle without loosing it.
I know that was off topic, but I just had a stupid flashback that I had to share. LOL |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:55 am |
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| enigma |
| Deputy Dawg |
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| Joined: 15 Oct 2005 |
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| Location: Somewhere in Tennessee |
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| LOL at "mouth breathers"... I know exactly the type you mean |
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Sworn to Serve and Protect your ass... Not to kiss your ass. |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:33 am |
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| Yaish |
| Intel Chief |
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Oh yeah, I'm familiar with the mouth breather type. Inbreeding? Head injury? Lead painted toys as a kid?
I'm not sure of the cause, but I've seen the result. At least they are usually too stupid to harm more than themselves. |
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... the kilt had concealed a blaster strapped to one thigh and a knife to the other. He was aware of the present gentle customs against personal weapons, but he felt naked without them. Such customs were nonsense anyhow, foolishment from old women - there was no such thing as "dangerous weapons," only dangerous people.
--Robert Heinlein in Methuselah's Children |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:15 pm |
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| enigma |
| Deputy Dawg |
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| Location: Somewhere in Tennessee |
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| Now if we could just get them to stop breeding... |
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_________________
Sworn to Serve and Protect your ass... Not to kiss your ass. |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:57 pm |
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| TheMadHobbit |
| Subway Tolkien |
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2005 |
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| Location: NJ |
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| HEY - I am a mouth breather because my sinuses SUCK. |
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"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:01 pm |
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| Yaish |
| Intel Chief |
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2005 |
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| Oh no, mouth breathers are different. Their noses work just fine, it's just that their brain can't work both the jaws and the feet at the same time. These are the people who literally cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. |
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... the kilt had concealed a blaster strapped to one thigh and a knife to the other. He was aware of the present gentle customs against personal weapons, but he felt naked without them. Such customs were nonsense anyhow, foolishment from old women - there was no such thing as "dangerous weapons," only dangerous people.
--Robert Heinlein in Methuselah's Children |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:05 pm |
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| TheMadHobbit |
| Subway Tolkien |
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| Joined: 17 Oct 2005 |
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| Location: NJ |
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| Okay - that is much better then. |
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_________________
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:46 pm |
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| Gren |
| God Of Oreos |
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2005 |
Posts: 7926
Karma: +27
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| Location: http://www.skeptomaniac.com |
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_________________
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them. |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:31 pm |
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| wrphhi |
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| Joined: 27 Nov 2005 |
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| Location: Rural, South Carolina |
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| Yaish wrote: | | Oh no, mouth breathers are different. Their noses work just fine, it's just that their brain can't work both the jaws and the feet at the same time. These are the people who literally cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. |
Well put.
Enigma, breeding is definitely part of the problem. My wife has an expression for it. She says that they look like they been swimmin' in the shallow end of the gene pool. LOL. |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:05 pm |
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| Gren |
| God Of Oreos |
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2005 |
Posts: 7926
Karma: +27
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| Location: http://www.skeptomaniac.com |
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| Stop bad-mouthin' mah people! LET MAH PEOPLE GO! |
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_________________
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them. |
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